I was born over 25 years ago into an amazing family in Louisiana.  My family loved me, as they still do, and I knew this growing up.  I was raised knowing who God was and what he had done for humanity - I knew him as my savior.  As I grew older, I found that the things I was taught about the world, about my purpose and who God is became clouded.  Without an objective or purpose in my life I became stagnant in my faith.  I also grew into some bad habits and twisted ideas about who God is and his involvement in this world.  This led to my own spiritual rebellion against what I was raised to believe; that which is right.  I ran from the Truth because I was afraid of it. 

An idea that I have come to tell to people who have significant doubts about their faith is this: Your commitment to the Lord will only be as consistent as your absence of doubt.  We, usually, will follow where the Lord is leading us as far as we are able to deal with the tough questions of life.  I, at this point in life, was having some serious doubts in my life with the only answer from my Christian culture being, “You just need to believe” or “You just need to have enough faith.”  This began to pay a toll on my moral commitment to the Lord and before long I had strayed pretty far from where I knew I should be. 

But God is gracious and steadfast in his pursuit of us.  I love that he tells us, “...When we are faithless, he will remain faithful.”  The things he put in my heart at such a young age remained, though partially dormant [thanks mom and dad].  After completing my junior year at university I was compelled to take some time off.  A few months later I found myself, somehow, guided into a missions program for six months.  I had gotten into surfing during my senior year of high school and found the concept of doing a missions school in Hawaii thoroughly appealing for this reason. 

In January of 2005 I landed in MAU| for my DTS.  God did so much in my heart and guided me to places I had never really dreamed of.  It was so great to see so many other people my age in love with the Lord and after his heart for the nations.  I went to Bangladesh for three months during the outreach phase, which rocked my world.  I had never seen such poverty and need and this very poignant reality hit me hard, especially upon returning to Virginia in June of that year. 

After a few months I knew this wasn’t it for me.  I wanted more of God and I didn’t want to get back into the the monotony of school or work.  I returned to the islands for a year and did some incredible study and traveling.  I spent a few months in the United Kingdom doing some street and pub ministries with music.  I then spent three months doing a school and missions program, which taught Christian theology, opposing worldviews and philosophy (epistemology). 

During this school (which is called the School of Biblical Foundations and Missions - SBFM) I really changed a lot in my outlook on everything.  I was hungry to know why I believed what I claimed to believe.  I was afraid of words like “dogmatism” and the idea of adhering to something strictly because it was “all I knew.”  This is when I began to ponder the idea I stated earlier: “Your commitment to the Lord will only be as consistent as your absence of doubt.”  This is where the rubber hit the road for me.  If I was going to continue to serve the Lord I knew that I would have to be able to identify why I believed, what I was believed, or I could go no further.  Why would I commit to something that I didn’t even understand or believe? 

God shaped me in this time to teach me in foreign context in the nations of Thailand and Myanmar.  This was when I felt led to come back as full time volunteer as staff at this base - I was ready to walk it out!  Not that I hadn’t been before, but I had sufficient answers and the validity of the Scriptures and know without a doubt that there is a God and he is alive and well and desires to see the nations changed.  Since this is true I saw no reason why I shouldn’t be serving Him and not my own desires.

And here I am.  I love my life!  I didn’t think I would ever be in such places and doing such things.  I am writing this in my hotel room in a rural Southern province of the largest communist country in the world.  I am doing things what I love and I am watching peoples lives change.  I am so grateful for the things that God has done in my life.  I am so thankful that he has brought me here and put such adventure before me.  For this I am thrilled to say that this has been the most incredible journey and the exultation of seeing the world and watching people light up with truth has been the most worth-while experience of my life.  I am forever changed and I praise the L0rd for this change of my heart.  He is faithful, even when we are faithless.

Thank you for reading.  I hope it was encouraging.  Thank you also for your prayers and thoughts.  I am so blessed by the people that God has brought into my life.

Aloha